Helping Kids Navigate Travel Anxiety
For many families, traveling is an exciting time—to meet new people, explore new destinations and create special experiences. But for some kids, travel can cause a lot of anxiety. Whether it’s fear of flying or disruption of routines, experts have tips for increasing calmness and reducing anxiety.
Creating Positive Self Talk
“Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, CBT, is a great way to help kids overcome anxiety,” says Dr. Kristin Francis, MD, a Child and Adolescent Inpatient Psychiatrist, and Assistant Clinical Professor at Huntsman Mental Health Institute. She explains that CBT is a kind of talk therapy that helps kids increase awareness of their fears and the "negative conclusions" they jump to by becoming "fear detectives." A therapist will help them look for "clues" to support or refute their fears and help to replace the automatic negative thought such as "the plane may crash" with positive self-talk: "Planes don't crash very often. Pilots are well-trained and can handle emergencies."
Validating Your Child’s Feelings
“We also recommend validating children's feelings and helping them come up with ideas for how to calm themselves ahead of the flight,” says Dr. Francis. For example, parents can say: “It is ok and normal to feel scared during turbulence. When I am scared, I watch a movie or hold someone’s hand.” Kids and teens who struggle with travel-based anxiety could benefit from some “what if” planning. “If your child is afraid of being separated from the family, let them know that you plan on staying close to them at all times,” says Dr. Francis.
Creating Stress-Reducing Habits
Parents can also help create some relaxation habits for their kids ahead of travel. Help them formulate self-soothing techniques like tightening and then relaxing their muscles. “Distraction techniques, like reading, listening to music, coloring or playing with stickers often works,” says Dr. Francis. She also encourages parents to teach their kids breathing exercises like box breathing; inhale for four seconds, hold your breath for four seconds and exhale for four seconds.
Easing Physical Symptoms of Anxiety
“Children typically manifest anxiety very physically: stomachache, headaches and behavioral issues,” says Dr. Daryl Appleton, LMHC, Ed.D. He explains that it’s important for children to hear parents say, It can absolutely be scary to fly for the first time and there are things we can do to make us feel better. Allowing your child to feel like they have control over what they deem uncontrollable is incredibly empowering. “As parents it’s important to remember that the point is not to get rid of the feelings of fear, but instead to help your child to navigate discomfort through action steps and support,” says Dr. Appleton.
Seeing the Positive Side of Anxiety
“There is a positive aspect of anxiety, which is that it propels us to prepare for likely scenarios,” says Barry Granek, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and adjunct instructor at Hunter College. “Remind your kids that anxiety is fueling action to prepare for situations that are under your control.” You can tell your kids it’s not a bad idea to plan for possibilities of delays, getting lost, losing baggage, running out of resources, and having a medical issue. After talking through these situations with your kids, they often feel better and safer now that they have a plan in place. “Provide kids with information about what to expect during the travel experience,” says Granek. “For example, explain the process of going through airport security or what happens during a flight. This can help reduce their anxiety about the unknown.”
Get Kids Excited About Travel
Introduce the idea of travel as an exciting adventure rather than something to be feared. Says Granek: “Talk about the positive aspects of traveling, such as trying new foods, meeting new people, and experiencing different cultures. This can help shift their mindset towards a more positive outlook on travel.”
If your child has a fear of flying or going to a new place, gradual exposure can be helpful. Start by showing them pictures or videos of the destination or airport. This can help them become more familiar with the new environment and reduce their anxiety.
When your kids are missing home and friends, bring items that can provide comfort and familiarity, such as a favorite blanket or stuffed animal. Let them pick the items and make sure to have it in your carry-on bag. It’s not a bad idea to bring a few items, in case something gets lost or left behind.